The Birds

I really, really have better things to be doing right now than blogging (namely: sleeping), but I absolutely must share with you the this-cannot-be-happening moment I just had the pleasure of experiencing.
I have been awake for over 17 hours now on only 5 hours of sleep.  I have spent 14 1/2 hours of that time working and approximately 2 of it commuting.  Not my favorite way to spend a day.  So, I FINALLY get home, ready to flop into my little couch-cushion bed and SLEEP at long last, when, as I am climbing the stairs to my attic room, I hear the sound of wings beating against the window.  The inside of the window.  My first thought is that it's my own bird, Jacqueline, but that thought is quickly disproved as I continue to hear the struggles of this unknown but undoubtedly larger-than-a-parakeet winged creature.  For some reason I decide to climb the stairs in the dark, so I actually have to walk past the part of the hall where the noise is coming from before reaching the light switch.  And as soon as those lights came on, the thing flew up at me like a bat out of hell, causing me to screech in a most un-lady-like fashion and then laugh hysterically from a combination of sleep deprivation, nerves, and a vague recognition of the hilarity of the situation.  After flapping around a bit more, while I continued to alternate between screeching and laughing at myself, the bird finally landed on the floor in the hallway.
It was a pigeon, mostly a dark charcoal grey.  She had flown in the slightly open hall window and had been unsuccessful in finding her way out again, like a lobster in a trap.  I could tell she'd been trying all day, too; she was pretty discombobulated, tired, and scared.  Luckily, I am quite skilled and experienced at catching and relocating birds, even wild ones, so once I composed myself I made quick work of tossing a piece of fabric over her, picking her up, and releasing her out the window.  She neither struggled nor made the smallest noise of protest during the entire process.
And of course, when I opened the door to my room, the first thing I saw was my own bird, sitting peaceably on the topmost perch of her cage, leaning against the bars and cocking her head with a most innocent air.  She can't fool me, though; I know she had something to do with this.  I'm just not sure what yet... the scheming little twit.

The Swing of Things

I WENT SWING DANCING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS!  IT WAS SO WONDERFUL I CAN SPEAK NO MORE OF IT FOR FEAR OF DYING OF HAPPINESS!!

Well, now that I've got that bit of news out of the way...

My days have taken on a certain undulation which, though it would make me hate my life if it went on for too long, is oddly comforting in light of its temporary nature and certain anxiety-inducing events on my rapidly-approaching horizon.  Here is how things go lately:

I wake up either at 7am or 9am, depending on my shift, and catch either the 8:25 or 11:25 bus to downtown Pittsburgh.

I work an 8-hour shift at Jos. A. Bank Clothiers, either 9-5 or 12-8.  Business is always slow, so I usually spend my time doing one of the following:

- reading all the "How to Be a Gentleman" books on display

- writing letters to my siblings

- chatting with the security guards

- staring into space

- straightening piles of shirts

- refolding things

- tucking tags

- untangling the phone cord

I drink about half of a 5-Hour Energy about an hour or two before my shift ends.  (By then I can barely keep my eyes open from a horrid combination of sleepiness and boredom, especially on rainy days!)

I catch the bus home and change into comfy clothes (I have to wear dressy office clothes at work. blech.) 

I eat food while I watch online TV.  Sometimes Skyping also happens at this time.

I do THINGS like a grown-up!  The other day I tidied up my whole room in an hour!  Woot!  I only do this if I'm not too tired to move, though.  (That's where the 5-Hour Energy comes in.)

At 10 or 11 or so (depending on when I have to wake up the next day), I climb into bed and read until I fall asleep.  Usually I only get in a few pages, 'cause standing all day is way more exhausting that you would think.  

Repeat.

Obviously there are variations to this when I go swing dancing or have babysitting gigs.  But this is the basic framework.  Like I said, this would drive me absolutely insane if it was a long-term thing.  But as things are it is ok.  The regularity is even a bit reassuring, 'cause thinking about going up to New York in less than two months sometimes freaks me out.  I have so much to do before then!  (June 22 is my official move-in date.  Yipe!)

And, in other news, I am taking a 12-day trip to Medugorje in Bosnia-Herzegovina starting May 26.  Yep, that's a week from Thursday.  I have to organize and pack for that, too.  Che stress!!

So, that's the update.  I'll probably write again soon with details about my upcoming trip.

Cars, Control, Life and Things

Hello my beloved and faithful readers.  I am sorry to have neglected you for so long, but my life has hit an exceptionally busy patch, and this is truly the first moment I've had in over a week for any activities not qualified as productive or recovering from being productive.  I don't mind; honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way, and this is the happiest (and healthiest, mentally) I've been since the very beginning of this school year.
When I was first learning to drive, I had six lessons with a driving instructor.  He was quite an interesting character, who I'm sure many of the Bethel Park crowd remember, but he made learning to drive relatively painless.  Anyway, I distinctly remember one of the first times I went around a rather sharp curve in the road; I braked going into it the way any good driver would, navigating the curve at a safe but still-a-bit-nerve-wracking speed for my new-driver self, and as we reached that point where the road started to straighten out again, my instructor said, "Ok, good job.  Now hit the gas and feel control of the car return directly to you."  I stepped on the gas and felt the car surge forward, and just like that I was in complete control again, just like he had said.  For some reason that moment has stuck with me ever since, and I think of it every time I hit the gas after slowing down for a curve or a turn.  The sensation of being in control of something so powerful never gets old.  Man, I love driving.  Too bad I'm moving to one of the only cities in the world where nobody drives anywhere.  But I digress.
In the past month, taking control of my ADHD has given me exactly that feeling of exhilaration and relief that I experienced during that fateful driving lesson.  I can almost hear my driving instructor's voice saying, "Now feel control of your life returning directly to you."  My life is crazy busy; I've been working two jobs, one downtown and one in the South Hills, without having a car at my disposal, all while planning a visit to New York City (tomorrow!!) and transferring schools and pretty much putting drastic life changes into motion, and I've been able to pull through with nary a mishap! My planner has never looked so beautiful!  Yesterday I made a to-do list for the afternoon on my bus ride home and did ALL the things!
Yes, Things are actually pretty awesome.  I make lists of Things all the time.  Things to do, Things I want, Things to be happy about, Things that I'm worried about, Things I can do so I don't have to worry, and so on and so on.  And now, I am DOING things, too!  I am getting Things done!  And every Thing that I do takes me one step closer to being what we call a Real Live Grown-Up Person.  The more complicated my life is, the more I prove to myself and to the world that I CAN DO THIS.  I can do all the Things!
Hahaha I am raving like a lunatic a little bit.  I apologize for that.  I just get so excited.  This is also why I sometimes choke when I am eating.  But that is a story for another day.
Anyway, that is pretty much all I wanted to say.  Treatment for my ADHD is going amazingly great, and with each challenge that I overcome here in Pittsburgh, however small, I feel a little bit more ready to take on the bigger challenges that my new life in NYC will present. At last I am acquiring the tools I need to be a healthy and successful adult.   This is my life, and I will not let attention deficit disorder or anxiety take it away from me.