Lately, I've been noticing that a lot of things are making me smile and even laugh as I prepare to leave for Ghana. Here are a few:
- the Eucharist - I mean, seriously, what would a happy list be without the source of our happiness??
- the smell of tanning oil - mmmm, summer... and... banana popsicles?*
- trying on leather jackets in the store while my little sister reminds me again that I don't own a motorcycle
- the way my hair looks when it curls just right, like it did today (sigh, why am i soooo vaaaain...)
- headbands with flowers on them (i just bought a bunch! :D)
- getting packages in the mail (even if it's just boring stuff for Africa, like hand sanitizer)
- teaching my little sister how to walk in heels**
- dancing along to the radio while I pack
- hanging out in my bikini after sunbathing
- the pink lace that I use as a bookmark for my copy of "The Imitation of Christ"
- gold toenail polish
- getting to know St. Therese as I read Story of a Soul***
- looking up the weather forecast for Ghana, clicking on "10 day" and realizing that I'm going to be there during some of that weather!!! gah, it's so crazy. I can't even think about it or I might explode.
And now, since a few of these have touched on topics I've been meaning to write about for some time now, I will elaborate in these blogs within a blog:
* Adventures in Tanning
I have never laid in the sun for the sole purpose of getting tan before. It always just happened after a day at the pool or a week of camping or whatever. So when I started, I had a bit of a time figuring out what to do. I've been meaning to chronicle them here so that those of you who have never tanned but thought about it could learn from my mistakes and those of you who are experienced tanners could laugh at me.
The first day, I went outside and tried to lay on my back for half an hour without moving. I never realized what a fidgety person I am until I attempted this stunt. I barely made it through the half hour without jumping up and running around. Then I had to lay on my stomach for half an hour. Torture. And on top of that, I set up my towel right next to a giant ant hill, which explains the numerous ants crawling on me while I lay there. I'm not really creeped out by bugs, but it was super annoying. I said a rosary and a chaplet of Divine Mercy and offered everything up for the mission.
The next day, I managed to get my little sister to lay out with me (in a different spot) so I wouldn't get so incredibly bored. But it was still hot and uncomfortable. We didn't make it the whole hour. And I didn't look tan at all, because I only had lain out around 3pm and 4pm to avoid the hottest part of the day, which I had always been taught to do to avoid sunburn.
On Sunday, though, I went out at 1pm. It was so incredibly hot, I was watching the sweat bead up on my arms and roll off. By then, though, I had figured out that it was better to do 3 10-minute sessions on each side so as to avoid the torture of laying still for so long. So in between the first four and last two sessions of the hour, I ran inside to get a popsicle. Oh man, frozen juice has never tasted so good. And I got super tan. Yaay!
Since then, I've used the 6 10- minute session format almost every day, and my tan is deepening nicely. I have even grown to enjoy my time sunbathing, and I've been able to relax enough to doze sleepily in the sun. The weather has been so nice and breezy the past few days, too. And I've said a lot of rosaries. When I'm done with my hour for the day, I step inside and lay on the couch to watch TV for a little while in my bikini, enjoying the way my skin feels all warm from the sun and smells so delicious from the tanning oil. Sigh. This may be a new summer tradition for me. Maybe.
** 5 Golden Rules for Walking in Heels
1. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet as much as possible. Putting weight on the heel causes wobbling, slipping, and heal breakage.
2. Pick your feet up to at least ankle height during your stride. This will help you avoid what I like to call "heel farts," when your heel scrapes loudly and embarrassingly against the surface on which you are walking, a dead giveaway that you are dragging your feet.
3. Walk as though you are walking a parking lot line, one foot in front of the other. There's no need to cross over dramatically, but keeping your footsteps close to lined up will give your hips a lovely, natural swing as you walk.
4. Confidence! Keep your chin and eyes up, shoulders slightly back and lengthen your neck. Imagine stretching the muscles under your ears that connect your head to your shoulders. And smile a bit, like you know a secret. Here's the secret: you are amazing!! Look at you in those heels! ;D
5. Use all your muscles, especially your abs, glutes, and calves to steady yourself.
Oh, and here's a bonus tip: keep your walk heel-toe, heel-toe or else you're stride will show that you're inexperienced in heels. But remember rule #1. The "heel" of heel-toe should be the briefest touch until your toe comes firmly down to push off again.
If you are walking in heels for the first time (like my sister was) it's probably best to start with wedges and work your way to a smaller and higher heel. But as I also told her, if you practice walking around on your tiptoes, those muscles that you need for walking in heels will strengthen and you'll be ready for anything!
*** My Confirmation Saint
I've always had a special connection to St. Therese, since I was a very little girl. I just always knew that she'd be my confirmation saint. It really was as though she chose me rather than the other way around. When I was little, I loved her child-like faith and the novena asking her for roses. That tangible sign from heaven was so encouraging for me when I was young, and still is. Back then I used to say that novena all the time for every little thing.
As I grew up, though, I fell away from her, especially as I grew in my faith and discovered other amazing saints. Whenever I would tell people that she was my confirmation saint, they would always ask if I'd read The Story of a Soul, but of course I hadn't because I had written it off as too dense for me.
In Peoria in the spring of '09, I had a long talk with one of the nuns, during which she exclaimed, "It is so easy to tell that St. Therese is your confirmation saint; everything you are saying sounds just like her!" And then she asked if I had read Story of a Soul, which I still hadn't, but now I was legitimately curious about it.
It wasn't until the spring of this year, when I was in Peoria again for spring break that I bought the book for myself. We were visiting the museum of Bishop Fulton Sheen (who is a native of Peoria; who knew?) and I was wandering through the gift shop when the glossy little book caught my eye. I don't know why I hesitated before I bought it, but eventually I did.
I started reading it when I got home, and was immediately struck by how similar St. Therese and I are! Her stories of her childhood in the beginning of the book were just so inexplicably familiar, and I identified with her so deeply. I took a break from the book for a few weeks during finals etc., but I picked it up again fairly recently and was again surprised by how alike we are. We could be sisters, really! I don't mean to elevate myself by identifying with such a great saint; I just mean that her way of thinking and mine are very similar, that her natural reactions to things are often the same as mine, though in her great holiness she usually overcomes these. I understand her perfectly, and I love her so dearly, more than I ever have. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful person chose me as her little sister of sorts!
I think it no coincidence that I have rediscovered her during preparations for my trip to Africa; she is the patron saint of missionaries! Although she never left the Carmel, she spiritually adopted many missionaries and dreamed of being able to spread our Lord's love to people the world over. So, St. Therese, pray for me and my fellow missionaries! I am starting to get majorly freaked out about this whole thing.
Ok, that is all. This post makes me seem really worldly, materialistic, and vain... I guess I am. :p Maybe my trip to Ghana will cure me of those unfortunate personality traits. Part of me hopes so and part of me... just really likes pretty things!! If I ever met myself, I don't know if I would like me very much. I might hate me. I might be seriously concerned for my soul. Or I might get along with myself very well, because we were delighted by all the same things. hahaha
Showing posts with label saints. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saints. Show all posts
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Some Excerpts
from the book Jesus, Our Eucharistic Love by Fr. Stefano M. Manelli, F.F.I.
on the Eucharist:
With the Eucharist, God has truly given us everything. St. Augustine exclaimed: "Although God is all-powerful, He is unable to give more; though supremely wise, He knows not how to give more; though vastly rich, He has not more to give."
...
One day an Arabian prince, Abd-ed-Kader, while passing through a street of Marseille with a French official, saw a priest who was carrying Holy Viaticum to a dying man. The French official stopped, uncovered his head, and knelt. His friend asked him the reason for this gesture.
"I adore my God, whom the priest is carrying to a sick person," replied the good official.
"How is it possible," the prince said, "for you to believe that God who is so great, makes Himself so little and lets Himself go even to the homes of the poor? We Mohammedans have a much higher idea of God."
The official answered, "It is because you have only an idea of the greatness of God; but you do not know His Love."
That is the answer. In confirmation of this, St. Peter Eymard declares, "The Eucharist is the supreme proof of the love of Jesus. After this, there is nothing more but Heaven itself." Yet, how many of us Christians do not know the vast extent of the love contained in the Eucharist!
on the Mass:
Only in heaven will we understand what a divine marvel the Holy Mass is. No matter how much effort we apply and no matter how holy and inspired we are, we can only stammer if we would explain this Divine Work, which surpasses men and angels.
One day, Padre Pio of Pietrelcina was asked, "Father, please explain the Holy Mass to us."
"My children," he replied, "how can I explain it to you? The Mass is infinite, like Jesus...Ask an Angel what a Mass is, and he will reply to you in truth, 'I understand that Mass is offered and why it is offered, but its value, its worth, are beyond my comprehension.' One Angel - a thousand angels - all of Heaven knows this and think like this."
...
Wonderful are the saving effects which every Sacrifice of the Mass produces in the souls of those who participate. It obtains sorrow and pardon for sins. It lessens the temporal punishment due to sins. It weakens the influence of Satan and the untamed impulses of our flesh. It strengthens the bonds of our union in the Body of Christ. It protects us from danger and disaster. It shortens the punishment of Purgatory; and it obtains for us a higher degree of glory in Heaven. "No human tongue," said St. Lawrence Justinian, "can enumerate the favors that trace back to the Sacrifice of the Mass. The sinner is reconciled with God; the just man becomes more upright; sins are wiped away; vices uprooted; virtue and merit increase; and the devil's schemes are frustrated."
And so St. Leonard of Port Maurice did not tire of exhorting the crowds which listened to him, "O you deluded people, what are you doing? Why do you not hasten to the churches to hear as many Masses as you can? Why do you not imitate the angels, who, when a Holy Mass is celebrated, come down in myriads from Paradise and take their stations about our altars in adoration to intercede for us?"
...
One day Padre Pio of Pietrelcina said to a penitent, "If men were to understand the value of the Holy Mass, for every Mass such crowds would come to church that police would be needed to keep order."
Perhaps we, too, belong to that great number of Christians who have not understood the value of the Holy Mass, and for this reason we lack the zeal and fervor that encouraged and inspired the saints to attend Mass every day and even several times a day.
on the priesthood:
We know that St. Francis of Assisi was unwilling to become a priest because he considered himself unworthy of such a high vocation. He honored priests with a special devotion, considering them his "lords," because in them he saw only "the Son of God." His love for the Eucharist blended with his love for the priest who consecrates and administers the Body and Blood of Jesus. He paid special veneration to the priest's hands, which kneeling he used always to kiss very devoutly. He used even to kiss a priest's feet and even the footprints where a priest had walked.
St. John Bosco exhorts all in this manner: "I urge you to have the highest respect for priests; take off your hats as a sign of reverence when you speak with them or meet them in the street, and kiss their hands respectfully. Keep especially from showing contempt for them in word or deed. Whoever does not respect these sacred ministers should fear a great punishment from the Lord."
The veneration of the priest's consecrated hands, reverently kissed by the faithful, has always existed in the Church. It is noteworthy that during the persecutions of the first centuries, an outrageously cruelty practiced in particular on bishops and priests consisted in cutting off their hands so that they could no longer perform the consecration nor give blessings. Christians used to search out those amputated hands and treating them with spices preserve them as relics.
Kissing the priest's hands is also a delicate expression of faith and love for Jesus whom the priest represents. The more faith and love one has, the more he will venture to kneel before the priest and kiss those "holy and venerable hands" (the Roman Canon), in which Jesus lovingly makes Himself present every day.
"Oh the venerable dignity of the priest," exclaims St. Augustine, "in whose hands the Son of God becomes incarnate as He did in the Virgin's womb!" The holy Cure' of Ars said, "We attach great value to objects that are handed down and kept at Loreto, as the holy Virgin's porridge bowl and that of the Child Jesus. But the priest's fingers, which have touched the adorable Body of Jesus Christ, which have been put into the chalice where His Blood was and into the ciborium where His Body was - might anything be more precious than these fingers?" Perhaps we never thought of it before. But it is really so. The examples of the saints warrant this affirmation.
...
The holy Cure' of Ars used to say, "If I met a priest and an Angel, I would first pay my respects to the priest, and then to the Angel.... If it were not for the priest, the Passion and Death of Jesus would not be of any help to us.... What good would a chest full of gold be if there were no one to open it? The priest has the key to the heavenly treasures...."
...
St. Nicholas of Flue, a famous Swiss saint, father of a family, bluntly told anyone too ready to point out the faults of priests: "And you, how many times have you prayed for the sanctity of priests? Tell me: what have you done to obtain good vocations for the Church?"
One time, a spiritual daughter of Padre Pio of Pietrelcina accused herself in Confession of having criticized some priests for their less than worthy behavior and heard Padre Pio forcefully and decisively reply: "Instead of criticizing them, think of praying for them!"
And in particular, every time we see a priest at the altar, let us also pray to Our Lady, in the words of the Venerable Charles Giacinto, "O my dear Lady, lend your heart to that priest so that he can worthily celebrate the Mass." Let us also pray, as St. Therese did, so that priests at the altar may touch the most Holy Body of Jesus with the same purity and delicacy as Our Lady. Better yet, rather let us pray that every priest is able to imitate St. Cajetan, who used to prepare to celebrate Mass by uniting himself so closely to Mary Most Holy, that it was said of him, "He celebrates Mass as if he were her." And, indeed, as Our Lady welcomed Jesus into her arms at Bethlehem, similarly the priest receives Jesus in his hands at Holy Mass. As the Immaculate offered Jesus the Victim on Calvary, similarly the priest offers the Divine Lamb that is sacrificed on the altar. As the Virgin Mother gave Jesus to mankind, similarly the priest gives us Holy Communion. Thus St. Bonaventure rightly declares that every priest at the altar ought to be intimately identified with Our Lady; for, since "it was by her that this most Holy Body has been given to us, so by the priest's hands It must be offered."
on the Eucharist:
With the Eucharist, God has truly given us everything. St. Augustine exclaimed: "Although God is all-powerful, He is unable to give more; though supremely wise, He knows not how to give more; though vastly rich, He has not more to give."
...
One day an Arabian prince, Abd-ed-Kader, while passing through a street of Marseille with a French official, saw a priest who was carrying Holy Viaticum to a dying man. The French official stopped, uncovered his head, and knelt. His friend asked him the reason for this gesture.
"I adore my God, whom the priest is carrying to a sick person," replied the good official.
"How is it possible," the prince said, "for you to believe that God who is so great, makes Himself so little and lets Himself go even to the homes of the poor? We Mohammedans have a much higher idea of God."
The official answered, "It is because you have only an idea of the greatness of God; but you do not know His Love."
That is the answer. In confirmation of this, St. Peter Eymard declares, "The Eucharist is the supreme proof of the love of Jesus. After this, there is nothing more but Heaven itself." Yet, how many of us Christians do not know the vast extent of the love contained in the Eucharist!
on the Mass:
Only in heaven will we understand what a divine marvel the Holy Mass is. No matter how much effort we apply and no matter how holy and inspired we are, we can only stammer if we would explain this Divine Work, which surpasses men and angels.
One day, Padre Pio of Pietrelcina was asked, "Father, please explain the Holy Mass to us."
"My children," he replied, "how can I explain it to you? The Mass is infinite, like Jesus...Ask an Angel what a Mass is, and he will reply to you in truth, 'I understand that Mass is offered and why it is offered, but its value, its worth, are beyond my comprehension.' One Angel - a thousand angels - all of Heaven knows this and think like this."
...
Wonderful are the saving effects which every Sacrifice of the Mass produces in the souls of those who participate. It obtains sorrow and pardon for sins. It lessens the temporal punishment due to sins. It weakens the influence of Satan and the untamed impulses of our flesh. It strengthens the bonds of our union in the Body of Christ. It protects us from danger and disaster. It shortens the punishment of Purgatory; and it obtains for us a higher degree of glory in Heaven. "No human tongue," said St. Lawrence Justinian, "can enumerate the favors that trace back to the Sacrifice of the Mass. The sinner is reconciled with God; the just man becomes more upright; sins are wiped away; vices uprooted; virtue and merit increase; and the devil's schemes are frustrated."
And so St. Leonard of Port Maurice did not tire of exhorting the crowds which listened to him, "O you deluded people, what are you doing? Why do you not hasten to the churches to hear as many Masses as you can? Why do you not imitate the angels, who, when a Holy Mass is celebrated, come down in myriads from Paradise and take their stations about our altars in adoration to intercede for us?"
...
One day Padre Pio of Pietrelcina said to a penitent, "If men were to understand the value of the Holy Mass, for every Mass such crowds would come to church that police would be needed to keep order."
Perhaps we, too, belong to that great number of Christians who have not understood the value of the Holy Mass, and for this reason we lack the zeal and fervor that encouraged and inspired the saints to attend Mass every day and even several times a day.
on the priesthood:
We know that St. Francis of Assisi was unwilling to become a priest because he considered himself unworthy of such a high vocation. He honored priests with a special devotion, considering them his "lords," because in them he saw only "the Son of God." His love for the Eucharist blended with his love for the priest who consecrates and administers the Body and Blood of Jesus. He paid special veneration to the priest's hands, which kneeling he used always to kiss very devoutly. He used even to kiss a priest's feet and even the footprints where a priest had walked.
St. John Bosco exhorts all in this manner: "I urge you to have the highest respect for priests; take off your hats as a sign of reverence when you speak with them or meet them in the street, and kiss their hands respectfully. Keep especially from showing contempt for them in word or deed. Whoever does not respect these sacred ministers should fear a great punishment from the Lord."
The veneration of the priest's consecrated hands, reverently kissed by the faithful, has always existed in the Church. It is noteworthy that during the persecutions of the first centuries, an outrageously cruelty practiced in particular on bishops and priests consisted in cutting off their hands so that they could no longer perform the consecration nor give blessings. Christians used to search out those amputated hands and treating them with spices preserve them as relics.
Kissing the priest's hands is also a delicate expression of faith and love for Jesus whom the priest represents. The more faith and love one has, the more he will venture to kneel before the priest and kiss those "holy and venerable hands" (the Roman Canon), in which Jesus lovingly makes Himself present every day.
"Oh the venerable dignity of the priest," exclaims St. Augustine, "in whose hands the Son of God becomes incarnate as He did in the Virgin's womb!" The holy Cure' of Ars said, "We attach great value to objects that are handed down and kept at Loreto, as the holy Virgin's porridge bowl and that of the Child Jesus. But the priest's fingers, which have touched the adorable Body of Jesus Christ, which have been put into the chalice where His Blood was and into the ciborium where His Body was - might anything be more precious than these fingers?" Perhaps we never thought of it before. But it is really so. The examples of the saints warrant this affirmation.
...
The holy Cure' of Ars used to say, "If I met a priest and an Angel, I would first pay my respects to the priest, and then to the Angel.... If it were not for the priest, the Passion and Death of Jesus would not be of any help to us.... What good would a chest full of gold be if there were no one to open it? The priest has the key to the heavenly treasures...."
...
St. Nicholas of Flue, a famous Swiss saint, father of a family, bluntly told anyone too ready to point out the faults of priests: "And you, how many times have you prayed for the sanctity of priests? Tell me: what have you done to obtain good vocations for the Church?"
One time, a spiritual daughter of Padre Pio of Pietrelcina accused herself in Confession of having criticized some priests for their less than worthy behavior and heard Padre Pio forcefully and decisively reply: "Instead of criticizing them, think of praying for them!"
And in particular, every time we see a priest at the altar, let us also pray to Our Lady, in the words of the Venerable Charles Giacinto, "O my dear Lady, lend your heart to that priest so that he can worthily celebrate the Mass." Let us also pray, as St. Therese did, so that priests at the altar may touch the most Holy Body of Jesus with the same purity and delicacy as Our Lady. Better yet, rather let us pray that every priest is able to imitate St. Cajetan, who used to prepare to celebrate Mass by uniting himself so closely to Mary Most Holy, that it was said of him, "He celebrates Mass as if he were her." And, indeed, as Our Lady welcomed Jesus into her arms at Bethlehem, similarly the priest receives Jesus in his hands at Holy Mass. As the Immaculate offered Jesus the Victim on Calvary, similarly the priest offers the Divine Lamb that is sacrificed on the altar. As the Virgin Mother gave Jesus to mankind, similarly the priest gives us Holy Communion. Thus St. Bonaventure rightly declares that every priest at the altar ought to be intimately identified with Our Lady; for, since "it was by her that this most Holy Body has been given to us, so by the priest's hands It must be offered."
Saturday, January 2, 2010
My 2010 Reading List
I suddenly find myself drowning in new books that are calling for my attention! Here are the ones that I hope to read in the near future:
Italian Folktales selected and retold by Italo Calvino
This was God's birthday present to me! I entered Half Price Books on a whim that day and exited with an exquisite book of fairytales, bound in earth-colored canvas with a gold peacock stamped on the front! And only $8! There are no less than 200 tales in the 763-page volume, and so far I have only read 102 of them.
William Shakespeare: The Complete Works, Wells and Taylor Second Edition
Alright, so I know I won't be able to read all of these anytime soon... but a good priest friend of mine is an avid Shakespeare fan and last year he gave me the audio recordings for all of Shakespeare's major works. Unfortunately I lost the recordings in the Great Computer Crash of Fall Semester 2009, so I can't listen and read along as he suggested. I hope to find the recordings somewhere, perhaps in some library's collection, so I can get to it. People who read Shakespeare are so well-rounded, don't you think?
The Autobiography of St. Margaret Mary: Translation of the Authentic French Text by the Sisters of the Visitation
This saint is my middle-name saint, and I love her very dearly. Her devotion to the Sacred Heart is quite humbling and inspiring. Although I've read other versions of her life story, I've never read the official text. Apparently when cloistered nuns die it is customary to release a brief story of her life to other orders and sometimes to the outside world. That is how 'Story of a Soul' by St. Therese (my confirmation name saint!) got out in the first place and I'm assuming that this book is the same. My parents gave this to me for Christmas along with the next book on the list...
Thoughts and Sayings of Saint Margaret Mary for Every Day of the Year
This is, as the title suggests, a day-by-day book that offers some little morsel of St. Margaret Mary's writings every day. Today's: "You know that there is no middle course, and that it is a question of being saved or lost for all eternity. It depends on us: either we may choose to love God eternally with the Saints in Heaven after we have done violence to self here below by mortifying and crucifying ourselves as they did, or else renounce their happiness by giving to nature all for which it craves." Is she not wonderful??
for women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men by Shaunti Feldhahn
This book explores and/or overturns some of women's "surface understandings" about men such as "men need respect," "men are visual," and "men are unromantic clods," among others. It's actually my sister's book (someone gave it to her for Christmas) but she enjoyed it and is lending it to me. She said it would be a quick read, but it's not holding my attention very well. I guess I just don't care about men enough. Ha! Favorite quote so far: "Notice that one of the main biblical passages on marriage - in Ephesians 5 - never tells the wife to love her husband, and it never tells the husband to respect his wife (presumably because we each already tend to give what we want to receive). Instead, over and over, it urges the husband to love his wife and urges the wife to respect her husband and his leadership. Women tend to want to control things, which, unfortunately, men tend to interpret as disrespect and distrust (which, if we're honest with ourselves, it sometimes is). Marriage is about putting the other person's needs above your own (he's required to do that, too, remember), and it does tremendous things for your man to know that you are choosing to trust and honor him."
The Canary Handbook by Matthew M. Vriends, Ph.D. and Tanya M. Heming-Vriends
Yes, I am giving some thought to becoming a canary fancier (a flowery way of saying canary owner) so I picked up this book real cheap off of Amazon.com to get some background info. (Internet research only goes so far I've learned.) I've kept budgies for many years, so perhaps I'll be expanding my aviary again. Canary song is quite beautiful!
Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly
My aunt heard someone speak at her church and they handed out these books. She was inspired and picked up one for all of us. I'm a little skeptical, because last time I tried to read Matthew Kelly I didn't finish the book (something about being called to joy, I think?) but I'm willing to give it a whirl, I guess.
Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach
One of my goals for 2010 is to organize my finances (draw up a budget, perhaps do some investing) so this book, a gift from my engineer sister, came at an opportune time. I'm not very far along, but so far I like the tone and I am eager to soak up the information contained therein. It's not so much that I want to "finish rich" (although that would be nice) but rather that I have heretofore relied entirely on my accountant father to manage my money because I've always been completely clueless about all things fiscal. This book should be a good antidote to my ignorance. I am using my great-grandmother's lace handkerchief (crocheted by hand!) as a bookmark; I come from a long line of strong women, and I wish to join their ranks asap!
Preparation for Total Consecration according to Saint Louis Marie de Montfort
Yes, I am making my consecration at last!! I was going to start in November to be ready by the feast of the Immaculate Conception, but on the very day that I was supposed to begin I fell ill with the flu. So now I begin again to be ready by the feast of the Presentation of our Lord. I have made my consecration vow many times with my family, for we do the devotion every Lent, but I've never done one on my own and I think it is about time. I could ask for no better mistress than the dear Mother of God, Mary Most Holy. Today's meditation is from Matthew chapter 7. A snippet: "Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For the one who asks always receives; the one who searches always finds; the one who knocks will always have the door opened to him."
The World's First Love by Fulton J. Sheen
I ordered this book from amazon.com a while ago and it finally came! It's a blue hardcover with gorgeously aged pages that don't quite match up at the edges. I just love that. It's copyrighted 1952, but this is a special 1953 reprint edition. Fancyyy!
I read a few paragraphs from this book one day in the library of our Newman Center and I was totally hooked. It's all about Mary, the Mother of God and the world's most perfect woman. The dedication alone is enough to make me sigh with love and devotion for her:
"Dedicated to the Woman I Love, the Woman Whom even God dreamed of before the world was made; the Woman of Whom I was born at cost of pain and labor at a Cross; the Woman Who, though no priest, could yet on Calvary's Hill breath, 'This is my Body; This is my blood; - for none save her gave Him human life. The Woman Who guides my pen, which falters so with words in telling of the Word. The Woman Who, in a world of Reds, shows forth the blue of hope. Accept these dried grapes of thoughts from this poor author, who has no wine; and with Cana's magic and thy Son's Power work a miracle and save a soul - forgetting not my own."
She is so beautiful! And I hope to discover more of her beauty through the reading of this book.
Well, that about sums it up. And these should keep me busy for quite a while; I don't read as often as I used to, very rarely now, in fact. But sometimes the easiest way for me to fall asleep is still to open up a book and read until my eyelids are heavy. So there's always that, I suppose. Or perhaps I can read a bit during my commute, much as I hate carrying extra books around during the day.
Italian Folktales selected and retold by Italo Calvino
This was God's birthday present to me! I entered Half Price Books on a whim that day and exited with an exquisite book of fairytales, bound in earth-colored canvas with a gold peacock stamped on the front! And only $8! There are no less than 200 tales in the 763-page volume, and so far I have only read 102 of them.
William Shakespeare: The Complete Works, Wells and Taylor Second Edition
Alright, so I know I won't be able to read all of these anytime soon... but a good priest friend of mine is an avid Shakespeare fan and last year he gave me the audio recordings for all of Shakespeare's major works. Unfortunately I lost the recordings in the Great Computer Crash of Fall Semester 2009, so I can't listen and read along as he suggested. I hope to find the recordings somewhere, perhaps in some library's collection, so I can get to it. People who read Shakespeare are so well-rounded, don't you think?
The Autobiography of St. Margaret Mary: Translation of the Authentic French Text by the Sisters of the Visitation
This saint is my middle-name saint, and I love her very dearly. Her devotion to the Sacred Heart is quite humbling and inspiring. Although I've read other versions of her life story, I've never read the official text. Apparently when cloistered nuns die it is customary to release a brief story of her life to other orders and sometimes to the outside world. That is how 'Story of a Soul' by St. Therese (my confirmation name saint!) got out in the first place and I'm assuming that this book is the same. My parents gave this to me for Christmas along with the next book on the list...
Thoughts and Sayings of Saint Margaret Mary for Every Day of the Year
This is, as the title suggests, a day-by-day book that offers some little morsel of St. Margaret Mary's writings every day. Today's: "You know that there is no middle course, and that it is a question of being saved or lost for all eternity. It depends on us: either we may choose to love God eternally with the Saints in Heaven after we have done violence to self here below by mortifying and crucifying ourselves as they did, or else renounce their happiness by giving to nature all for which it craves." Is she not wonderful??
for women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men by Shaunti Feldhahn
This book explores and/or overturns some of women's "surface understandings" about men such as "men need respect," "men are visual," and "men are unromantic clods," among others. It's actually my sister's book (someone gave it to her for Christmas) but she enjoyed it and is lending it to me. She said it would be a quick read, but it's not holding my attention very well. I guess I just don't care about men enough. Ha! Favorite quote so far: "Notice that one of the main biblical passages on marriage - in Ephesians 5 - never tells the wife to love her husband, and it never tells the husband to respect his wife (presumably because we each already tend to give what we want to receive). Instead, over and over, it urges the husband to love his wife and urges the wife to respect her husband and his leadership. Women tend to want to control things, which, unfortunately, men tend to interpret as disrespect and distrust (which, if we're honest with ourselves, it sometimes is). Marriage is about putting the other person's needs above your own (he's required to do that, too, remember), and it does tremendous things for your man to know that you are choosing to trust and honor him."
The Canary Handbook by Matthew M. Vriends, Ph.D. and Tanya M. Heming-Vriends
Yes, I am giving some thought to becoming a canary fancier (a flowery way of saying canary owner) so I picked up this book real cheap off of Amazon.com to get some background info. (Internet research only goes so far I've learned.) I've kept budgies for many years, so perhaps I'll be expanding my aviary again. Canary song is quite beautiful!
Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly
My aunt heard someone speak at her church and they handed out these books. She was inspired and picked up one for all of us. I'm a little skeptical, because last time I tried to read Matthew Kelly I didn't finish the book (something about being called to joy, I think?) but I'm willing to give it a whirl, I guess.
Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach
One of my goals for 2010 is to organize my finances (draw up a budget, perhaps do some investing) so this book, a gift from my engineer sister, came at an opportune time. I'm not very far along, but so far I like the tone and I am eager to soak up the information contained therein. It's not so much that I want to "finish rich" (although that would be nice) but rather that I have heretofore relied entirely on my accountant father to manage my money because I've always been completely clueless about all things fiscal. This book should be a good antidote to my ignorance. I am using my great-grandmother's lace handkerchief (crocheted by hand!) as a bookmark; I come from a long line of strong women, and I wish to join their ranks asap!
Preparation for Total Consecration according to Saint Louis Marie de Montfort
Yes, I am making my consecration at last!! I was going to start in November to be ready by the feast of the Immaculate Conception, but on the very day that I was supposed to begin I fell ill with the flu. So now I begin again to be ready by the feast of the Presentation of our Lord. I have made my consecration vow many times with my family, for we do the devotion every Lent, but I've never done one on my own and I think it is about time. I could ask for no better mistress than the dear Mother of God, Mary Most Holy. Today's meditation is from Matthew chapter 7. A snippet: "Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For the one who asks always receives; the one who searches always finds; the one who knocks will always have the door opened to him."
The World's First Love by Fulton J. Sheen
I ordered this book from amazon.com a while ago and it finally came! It's a blue hardcover with gorgeously aged pages that don't quite match up at the edges. I just love that. It's copyrighted 1952, but this is a special 1953 reprint edition. Fancyyy!
I read a few paragraphs from this book one day in the library of our Newman Center and I was totally hooked. It's all about Mary, the Mother of God and the world's most perfect woman. The dedication alone is enough to make me sigh with love and devotion for her:
"Dedicated to the Woman I Love, the Woman Whom even God dreamed of before the world was made; the Woman of Whom I was born at cost of pain and labor at a Cross; the Woman Who, though no priest, could yet on Calvary's Hill breath, 'This is my Body; This is my blood; - for none save her gave Him human life. The Woman Who guides my pen, which falters so with words in telling of the Word. The Woman Who, in a world of Reds, shows forth the blue of hope. Accept these dried grapes of thoughts from this poor author, who has no wine; and with Cana's magic and thy Son's Power work a miracle and save a soul - forgetting not my own."
She is so beautiful! And I hope to discover more of her beauty through the reading of this book.
Well, that about sums it up. And these should keep me busy for quite a while; I don't read as often as I used to, very rarely now, in fact. But sometimes the easiest way for me to fall asleep is still to open up a book and read until my eyelids are heavy. So there's always that, I suppose. Or perhaps I can read a bit during my commute, much as I hate carrying extra books around during the day.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Thanks, Mom! :)
I've been thinking a lot lately about my vocation, as all of you probably know by now. I just couldn't get it out of my mind. A lot of things have happened in my heart, but there is one thing in particular that helped me that I want to share.
The following reflection is printed in black on a plain white sheet of paper. There is no information regarding who wrote it or what it is from. It's just there. My mom gave it to me to read at a point when I was really struggling. She is such a blessing to me!
The following reflection is printed in black on a plain white sheet of paper. There is no information regarding who wrote it or what it is from. It's just there. My mom gave it to me to read at a point when I was really struggling. She is such a blessing to me!
FIRST LOVE
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone. To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian, says no, not until you're satisfied, fulfilled, and content with living, loved by Me alone - giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. I love you My child and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me - exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. Stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Don't be anxious and don't worry. Don't look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I have to show you.
And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. Until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready - I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time - and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you.
I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.
And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. Until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready - I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time - and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you.
I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Vocations (and other such nonsense)
Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to my vocation. A recent encounter with an old heartthrob and an upcoming visit to a convent may have something to do with this.
The thought process, however, is in direct opposition to the "vocation fast" that I've been on since my visit to Peoria: no dating, no close guy-friends, no visualizing myself as a nun, no obsessing about my vocation. The point of this was to allow myself time to grow closer to the Lord, just Him and me working on our relationship. And yes, I failed at this.
But perhaps the timing is good, after all. Allow me to explain.
There is this one priest who seems fairly certain that I'm going to enter the convent. He's not the only one who thinks this, but he's the most vocal about it. One of the sisters I met in Peoria was telling me about how this particular priest has a gift for predicting people's vocations.
"Well, that's it," I thought. "I'm going to be a nun." I wasn't expecting this thought to fill me with such sadness and even... was it really?... anger.
"NO!" I lashed out at God in prayer. "What about my spouse, who I've been praying for since I was 12? What about my very own family, with children of my own? What about the beautiful wedding I've been dreaming of? I'm not ready to give this up, God!! I'll do it if you reeeeally want me to, but I'll tell you one thing: If I AM supposed to be a nun, you sure as hell better make it blatently obvious to me, because I most certainly will NOT enter the convent if there is even a SHADOW of doubt in my mind."
And God wasn't the only one getting an earful.
I complained to my mom, my siblings: "My going to the convent doesn't mean anything! Maybe I just want to go and pray for a couple weeks!! Isn't that ok???"
I complained to the Blessed Mother: "Your Son and I are having a disagreement, so I'm just going to talk to you for a while. How in heaven's name did you manage to be so docile, so humble, so willing to accept ANYTHING He threw at you???"
I complained to St. Therese, my confirmation saint and special patroness: "God and I are fighting, so I'll ask you. I'm starting your novena as soon as I get home. Just tell it to me straight, St. Therese! Give me a white rose if I'm supposed to be a nun. Give me a red one if I'm supposed to get married. Give me a pink rose to say 'wait and see, you're not supposed to know yet.' Ya, I know it's been a while since I prayed that novena. Maybe you won't even give me the rose. How typical that would be."
As I left St. Paul's Cathedral after this very whiny holy hour, my eyes alighted upon the garden along the sidewalk. They were roses, and they were pink. True, there were some white ones and some red ones, but they were mostly all pink. And the roses followed the sidewalk for most of the block. "Ha ha," I thought, "I haven't even said the prayer yet."
I took the bus and the T back to good ol' Bethel Park, because I was singing at evening prayer with the Eucharist exposed for adoration. I still wasn't in the best of spirits. In fact, I was legitimately afraid of speaking to the Lord because I didn't want to hear those words: "I want you to be a nun. Will you marry me?"
But, speak to him I must, because there he was in the church, exposed on the altar, waiting for me. I whined some more. I thought of all the things I would have to give up if I was to become a nun. I cried a little bit, thinking of the children I would never have, the spouse I would never wake up next to. Clearly, the rose garden had not had the desired effect on my heart.
I sang through evening prayer, not meaning a word of the hymns and psalms. "The Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should I be afraid?" Ya, totally not feelin' that.
Toward the end of the night, however, a very small something within me was feeling a very little bit guilty. I knew that this was not a good attitude, but I certainly didn't want to give up on my little whine-fest. Grudgingly I prayed: "Geez, God, I don't even want to talk to you right now, I'm so mad. I know that I should be praying for humility and submission to your will, but I really don't want to."
I know, not the most sincere prayer, but it must have meant something to Him, because I couldn't believe what happened next.
As I was heading back to the tabernacle, this lady walked by me with a huge flower arrangement. I gasped a little bit and said "Oh, how beautiful." She looked and me and said, "You want them? Here, take them. I'm just going to throw them away if you don't." and she starts piling roses into my arms. Pink roses. Then white carnations edged in pink and deep pink sweetheart roses and 2 rosebuds edged in purple. Pink snapdragons and one stalk of purple flowers, and 2 sprays of baby's breath to top it all off. By the time she left, I had a bouquet of pink flowers so full that I could barely fit my hand around the stems. As I gazed at the gorgeous collection, I heard the Lord's voice loud and clear: "Don't worry about all of that silly stuff right now. Please, please just come back to me?" In my mind's eye, I saw a road with a fork in it. To the left, I saw shadows of Him and I walking, hand in hand, straight to heaven. To the right, there we were again, but this time we had another with us: my spouse. The road was a little curvier that way, too. But most importantly, I saw the Lord and I standing on the road before the fork, looking into each others' eyes and smiling at each other. The future makes absolutely no difference to us right now.
The thought process, however, is in direct opposition to the "vocation fast" that I've been on since my visit to Peoria: no dating, no close guy-friends, no visualizing myself as a nun, no obsessing about my vocation. The point of this was to allow myself time to grow closer to the Lord, just Him and me working on our relationship. And yes, I failed at this.
But perhaps the timing is good, after all. Allow me to explain.
There is this one priest who seems fairly certain that I'm going to enter the convent. He's not the only one who thinks this, but he's the most vocal about it. One of the sisters I met in Peoria was telling me about how this particular priest has a gift for predicting people's vocations.
"Well, that's it," I thought. "I'm going to be a nun." I wasn't expecting this thought to fill me with such sadness and even... was it really?... anger.
"NO!" I lashed out at God in prayer. "What about my spouse, who I've been praying for since I was 12? What about my very own family, with children of my own? What about the beautiful wedding I've been dreaming of? I'm not ready to give this up, God!! I'll do it if you reeeeally want me to, but I'll tell you one thing: If I AM supposed to be a nun, you sure as hell better make it blatently obvious to me, because I most certainly will NOT enter the convent if there is even a SHADOW of doubt in my mind."
And God wasn't the only one getting an earful.
I complained to my mom, my siblings: "My going to the convent doesn't mean anything! Maybe I just want to go and pray for a couple weeks!! Isn't that ok???"
I complained to the Blessed Mother: "Your Son and I are having a disagreement, so I'm just going to talk to you for a while. How in heaven's name did you manage to be so docile, so humble, so willing to accept ANYTHING He threw at you???"
I complained to St. Therese, my confirmation saint and special patroness: "God and I are fighting, so I'll ask you. I'm starting your novena as soon as I get home. Just tell it to me straight, St. Therese! Give me a white rose if I'm supposed to be a nun. Give me a red one if I'm supposed to get married. Give me a pink rose to say 'wait and see, you're not supposed to know yet.' Ya, I know it's been a while since I prayed that novena. Maybe you won't even give me the rose. How typical that would be."
As I left St. Paul's Cathedral after this very whiny holy hour, my eyes alighted upon the garden along the sidewalk. They were roses, and they were pink. True, there were some white ones and some red ones, but they were mostly all pink. And the roses followed the sidewalk for most of the block. "Ha ha," I thought, "I haven't even said the prayer yet."
I took the bus and the T back to good ol' Bethel Park, because I was singing at evening prayer with the Eucharist exposed for adoration. I still wasn't in the best of spirits. In fact, I was legitimately afraid of speaking to the Lord because I didn't want to hear those words: "I want you to be a nun. Will you marry me?"
But, speak to him I must, because there he was in the church, exposed on the altar, waiting for me. I whined some more. I thought of all the things I would have to give up if I was to become a nun. I cried a little bit, thinking of the children I would never have, the spouse I would never wake up next to. Clearly, the rose garden had not had the desired effect on my heart.
I sang through evening prayer, not meaning a word of the hymns and psalms. "The Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should I be afraid?" Ya, totally not feelin' that.
Toward the end of the night, however, a very small something within me was feeling a very little bit guilty. I knew that this was not a good attitude, but I certainly didn't want to give up on my little whine-fest. Grudgingly I prayed: "Geez, God, I don't even want to talk to you right now, I'm so mad. I know that I should be praying for humility and submission to your will, but I really don't want to."
I know, not the most sincere prayer, but it must have meant something to Him, because I couldn't believe what happened next.
As I was heading back to the tabernacle, this lady walked by me with a huge flower arrangement. I gasped a little bit and said "Oh, how beautiful." She looked and me and said, "You want them? Here, take them. I'm just going to throw them away if you don't." and she starts piling roses into my arms. Pink roses. Then white carnations edged in pink and deep pink sweetheart roses and 2 rosebuds edged in purple. Pink snapdragons and one stalk of purple flowers, and 2 sprays of baby's breath to top it all off. By the time she left, I had a bouquet of pink flowers so full that I could barely fit my hand around the stems. As I gazed at the gorgeous collection, I heard the Lord's voice loud and clear: "Don't worry about all of that silly stuff right now. Please, please just come back to me?" In my mind's eye, I saw a road with a fork in it. To the left, I saw shadows of Him and I walking, hand in hand, straight to heaven. To the right, there we were again, but this time we had another with us: my spouse. The road was a little curvier that way, too. But most importantly, I saw the Lord and I standing on the road before the fork, looking into each others' eyes and smiling at each other. The future makes absolutely no difference to us right now.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
St. Joseph of Cupertino
And now, some fun finals week inspiration.
For those of you who don't know about good ol' St. Joe, he is the patron saint of students. (This is, obviously, a different St. Joe than the earthly father of Jesus.) He earned this distinction through a pretty awe-inspiring happenstance...
St. Joe was a very poor student. For whatever reason, he had great difficulties with school and with studying. Yet he knew that God was calling him to be a priest. Yes, he knew this, but he also knew that the seminary involves extremely rigorous schooling. He didn't think he'd make it, but he trusted in the Lord and took the plunge.
The night before his final exam, when he would be questioned by the bishop himself, he tried and tried to study, but due to his poor study skills, was only able to learn the materials on one topic.
As he stood in the last place in a line of seminarians, watching them all be questioned so severely, he knew that he could not make it through the questioning. He prayed as the bishop moved down the line, getting closer and closer to St. Joe.
And then something miraculous happened: just as the bishop approached the end of the line, he was called away. He only had time to ask St. Joe one question... a question on the only topic that St. Joe had been able to study.
God is so good!
St. Joe passed and became a wonderful priest, and then a saint! All because he trusted in the Lord, even when things looked really impossible.
And now for my own personal St. Joseph of Cupertino encounter...
I had a ton of statistics homework to do in about 4 hours: 2 weeks worth of homework due and 2 quizzes to take in class that night. I hadn't done a holy hour yet that day, though, and I solved this problem by taking my stat homework to St. Pauls Cathedral and sitting myself down with it right in front of the tabernacle. Study date with the Lord. "Lord," I said, "I hate doing this work and I'm a little worried about getting it all done. Please help me out!"
About 2 hours into my work, I realized that there was no way on earth that it was going to be done by the time I had class. In despair, I whispered, "St. Joseph of Cupertino, help me!"
I only had time to finish one of the homeworks, #8. Homework #9 remained unfinished, and I had not even looked at the materials for the two quizzes. Feeling defeated, I trudged off to class.
I sat through my entire stat lecture, awaiting my fate. As lecture ended, the TA stood up in front of the class and said some words that I will probably never forget:
"Hey, just so you guys know, I think this weeks work was really hard, so we're not gonna take the quizzes today. And you only have to turn in homework #8. You can just get #9 to me sometime next week."
Holy... geez. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Seriously?? I sat there in disbelief for several minutes before the relief and thanksgiving washed over me. "Thank you, Lord!" I whispered. "Thank you, St. Joseph of Cupertino!!!"
So, fellow students, I encourage you whole-heartedly to ask St. Joe to pray for you, this week and always. He obviously has a very specialy place in his heart for all of us, and God has given him a lot of power to help us.
Happy Finals Week! :)
For those of you who don't know about good ol' St. Joe, he is the patron saint of students. (This is, obviously, a different St. Joe than the earthly father of Jesus.) He earned this distinction through a pretty awe-inspiring happenstance...
St. Joe was a very poor student. For whatever reason, he had great difficulties with school and with studying. Yet he knew that God was calling him to be a priest. Yes, he knew this, but he also knew that the seminary involves extremely rigorous schooling. He didn't think he'd make it, but he trusted in the Lord and took the plunge.
The night before his final exam, when he would be questioned by the bishop himself, he tried and tried to study, but due to his poor study skills, was only able to learn the materials on one topic.
As he stood in the last place in a line of seminarians, watching them all be questioned so severely, he knew that he could not make it through the questioning. He prayed as the bishop moved down the line, getting closer and closer to St. Joe.
And then something miraculous happened: just as the bishop approached the end of the line, he was called away. He only had time to ask St. Joe one question... a question on the only topic that St. Joe had been able to study.
God is so good!
St. Joe passed and became a wonderful priest, and then a saint! All because he trusted in the Lord, even when things looked really impossible.
And now for my own personal St. Joseph of Cupertino encounter...
I had a ton of statistics homework to do in about 4 hours: 2 weeks worth of homework due and 2 quizzes to take in class that night. I hadn't done a holy hour yet that day, though, and I solved this problem by taking my stat homework to St. Pauls Cathedral and sitting myself down with it right in front of the tabernacle. Study date with the Lord. "Lord," I said, "I hate doing this work and I'm a little worried about getting it all done. Please help me out!"
About 2 hours into my work, I realized that there was no way on earth that it was going to be done by the time I had class. In despair, I whispered, "St. Joseph of Cupertino, help me!"
I only had time to finish one of the homeworks, #8. Homework #9 remained unfinished, and I had not even looked at the materials for the two quizzes. Feeling defeated, I trudged off to class.
I sat through my entire stat lecture, awaiting my fate. As lecture ended, the TA stood up in front of the class and said some words that I will probably never forget:
"Hey, just so you guys know, I think this weeks work was really hard, so we're not gonna take the quizzes today. And you only have to turn in homework #8. You can just get #9 to me sometime next week."
Holy... geez. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Seriously?? I sat there in disbelief for several minutes before the relief and thanksgiving washed over me. "Thank you, Lord!" I whispered. "Thank you, St. Joseph of Cupertino!!!"
So, fellow students, I encourage you whole-heartedly to ask St. Joe to pray for you, this week and always. He obviously has a very specialy place in his heart for all of us, and God has given him a lot of power to help us.
Happy Finals Week! :)
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