Sunday, September 13, 2009

Log vs. Splinter

A month or so ago, I bought the book "Captivating" off of Amazon.com. I had already read it, but I gave my first copy away, as I so often do. A few weeks after it arrived in the mail, I got the email from the Amazon people inviting me to review my purchase. So I did. I wrote a congenial review saying, among other things, that it was an inspiring book even though it wasn't Catholic and I was (ie there wasn't anything against Church teachings that I could remember) and I highly recommended it. (4 stars)
A few days after that, an email popped up that said someone had commented on my review. Oo, how exciting, I thought, and followed the link. Imagine how my stomach sank when it turned out that some very adamant man had taken "issue" with my statement that "the book didn't go against Church teachings" and had proceeded to make a long list explaining what was wrong with the book. I skimmed the list, feeling a little embarrassed, and started to write a response that was something to the effect of "O sorry about that, I didn't realize there were so many discrepancies, it's been a while since I read it, thanks for clearing things up, etc. etc." But before I posted it, I scrolled back up to read the list in detail. And some of the stuff he was arguing was... well... kind of messed up.
He wasn't just arguing about a few bad sources in the book or a couple faulty references. No, he was challenging the core ideas of the book, the very ideas that had inspired me and fed me spiritually right when I had really needed it. The more I read, the more he seemed to be attacking the book rather than critiquing it.
The book had emphasized the beauty of femininity. He argued that "beauty is vain" according to scripture. The book had brought attention to Eve as the finishing touch on creation, the last and most wonderful creature of the story of Genesis. He spat out that the authors had overlooked Jesus Christ as the pinnacle of creation. And on and on. He even concluded that not only did the book contradict Protestant and Catholic church teachings, but it was also promoting New Age ideas!
At first I was shaken. Then I got mad. Really mad. I stormed into the kitchen where my mom was cleaning up, needing to vent to someone. I had a theological argument for every point that he made on that stupid list (which I proceeded to rain down upon my poor unsuspecting mother.) I would tell him! I would write my own witty and scathing defense and... but no. I couldn't just go on my own rampage. The Holy Spirit! He would help me! I discussed true beauty with my mother, and how much the Catholic Church cherishes her daughters. She suggested that I look for a quote from JPII on the feminine genius. So I did. I curbed my anger. I sat down and looked for a good quote. And I found one. My response read something to the effect of the following:

Sorry about the mistake! I should have been more clear.
"The personal resources of femininity are certainly no less than the resources of masculinity: they are merely different. Hence a woman, as well as a man, must understand her 'fulfillment' as a person, her dignity and vocation, on the basis of these resources, according to the richness of the femininity which she received on the day of creation and which she inherits as an expression of the "image and likeness of God" that is specifically hers."
~ JPII, Mulieris Dignitatem
I believe that, although this book has some gray areas and is certainly not endorsed by any church, if read in the light of Catholic teachings as outlined in the Catechism and expanded upon in Theology of the Body and The Dignity of Women, it can be a wonderful aide to becoming a young woman of Christ.
(Even if you're not Catholic I'm sure you can take something from this book. Read it and see for yourself! :)

I knew it was the Holy Spirit. How could it not be? If it had been up to me, I would have been ripping him a new one. Thank you sweet Lord for the gift of self-control!
But I wasn't satisfied. After I posted, I read through a few of the other reviews for the book and found that I wasn't the only one who had received a comment from the vengeful defender of all that is good. Even people who had reviewed the book less agreeably than I had been rebuked. I paced the floor of the kitchen, gritting my teeth and growling that I wanted to DO something!!! How dare this man spread such a version of Christianity?! THIS, I told myself, was just the kind of angry, judgemental, self-righteous Christian who turned people off to Christianity in droves! How can I change this? Reverse this influence? Perhaps one day, as a writer... but no! I want to do something now! And how DARE he??? Ya, I was pretty pissed.
Pissed enough that, the next day at Mass, I was still seething a little. I was just getting into my anger a little more when the priest stood up to read the gospel. And lo...

"Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye,
but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?
How can you say to your brother,
‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’
when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye?
You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first;
then you will see clearly
to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.”

BAM! Just like that. I almost fell to my knees and cried right then and there. How dare I?? How could I??? How could I judge what is going on in this man's life, where he is coming from, what wounds he is dealing with? By labeling him as judgmental and angry and self-righteous, I myself was being judgemental and angry and self-righteous! What a trap Satan had set for me! How readily and easily I had walked into it! How humbling and touching to have the Lord show me my error so clearly.
I took away a few lessons from this. First of all, we as Christians should ALL strive to be non-judgemental and humble! Nothing is more attractive and, more importantly, nothing pleases the Lord more. Secondly, there has been kindled in me a deep and fiery apostolic zeal. My desire to draw souls to Christ was, for an agonizing hour or so, the most important thing in my life. True, I was acting out of anger at that time, but when the desire is cleansed of anger, it becomes a pure and powerful one, capable of accomplishing much. Let us also as Christians strive for this spirit of evangelization, bound tightly to the Holy Spirit, ready to do His bidding at every moment, and so on fire for Him and for souls that we will stop at nothing to accomplish it.

7 comments:

  1. It can be tempting to put the "rules" in front of the "purpose" regarding many issues. For many, the rules give us comfort in knowing our boundaries and what is expected of us. The rules are normally a good thing for they allow us to release our thoughts towards more holy and Godly things.

    For example, young drivers have a curfew on their license. At 11:00 PM it becomes invalid. The young driver no longer has to debate with friends about when they are to home, so they can plan their evening for the most fun within the parameters!

    Unfortunately, some people make the rules too important - or, in their defense, they have seen the rules broken very often. Their response to to accentuate the rules to reestablish that which they feel has been broken.

    So, take them with a grain of salt, for their purpose is good, though sometimes rough. Be more aware and afraid of the "smooth tongued snake" who assures you that rules were meant to be broken, or that they are too hard to follow.

    Nice quote from JPII!! Hope all read and enjoy it!

    Blad the Rad

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  2. This also teaches the more worldly lesson that people will always disagree in public fora, and that it's usually just best to ignore them.

    vulgerle - that's an odd CAPTCHA for this post...

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Bravo, Janie. You are such a wise not-so-old sage. I have had that happen many times before, when I've felt God tell that to me -- ye without sin cast the first stone. Responding in love and understanding to people who are difficult is neither easy nor fun. It is definitely easier to retort arguments with arguments rather than looking beneath the surface as to what is the cause of the conflict. Oftentimes, the other person needs some healing -- and sometimes I have some healing/growth to do, too! :)

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