It is excruciatingly difficult for me to admit this...
but I tried out for Pitt Repertory Theater and got absolutely nothing. Not even a callback. That's 4 different shows that all passed me by. That hurts my pride. A lot.
I used to consider myself to be a good actress. I absolutely love to perform and so many people have told me that they enjoy watching me. But the truth of the matter is that in the real world, (as in, not high school theater) I am not that good.
Normally when I audition for anything I keep it very secret. I tell as few people as possible. If I fail, I don't want to have to tell everyone who asks "How did your audition go?" that I didn't get anything.
But this time is different. My purpose for posting this is absolutely not to receive compliments or words of comfort. In all honesty I would love to forget that this whole thing ever happened.
This time, though, I know for sure that things happened exactly the way the Lord wanted them to, and I don't want to keep His beautiful plan a secret.
I prayed so hard about these auditions. I almost backed out countless times. I prayed that if it was not His will that I be in shows this semester that He stop me from getting to the audition somehow. I was looking for the easy way out; I don't like to try for anything that I don't think I will get. But notice: He allowed me to go sign up, fill out a form, pick out a monologue, practice over and over, get to the auditions, and worry all day today about call-backs. All for nothing. And the thing is that along every single step along the way, I knew that He wanted me to keep going. You see, I had much to gain from this experience. Humility. Perseverance.
"No," He says through it all, "You are not always going to get what you want or be the best at everything. But that shouldn't stop you from trying. And when you fall, bless the opportunity to grow in wisdom and virtue, for I Myself fell three times along the road to the cross. You don't have to be perfect, little one. But you must try."
The last bit when you "quote" God is beautiful. Do you mind if I store it for future use (for myself and any possible retreats when it might fit)?
ReplyDeleteThe way in which your faith plays an important role in every aspect of your life is amazing.
There are times when the answer to a prayer is no answer .. or a perceived "defeat". For we do not always ask for what is best for us or the petitioner: emotionally, physically or spiritually. (God's greatest gift is unanswered prayers")
ReplyDeleteThe "Theater" normally lacks virtues. The people involved have different values and desires. Their performances are usually quite good, their talents superb. But it is difficult to live a virtuous life the higher you rise.
And that appears to be true as you age in life, also. As you receive more and more responsibility, the pressure grows and grows to exceed capabilities. Your foundation must be strong to withstand the attacks of colleagues and clients.
So, the time was well spent auditioning for the plays. Stretching yourself is always a good thing, especially if it makes us uncomfortable. For it allows us to grow and add to our life experiences so that we may have compassion for others
Blad the Rad
sure, wm hiker runner
ReplyDeletefeel free to store and use in the future. how cool! and thanks so much for reading! :)
It's okay, chica. You don't have time anyway because you're such a kick-butt singer. P.S. Erika's family is beside themselves with excitement to hear you this Saturday!!!
ReplyDelete