More Proof

I've been flipping through old journals as I am wont to do sometimes, and I've found some interesting entries, some truly embarrassing ones, and some that make me feel so much better about myself.
There is one entry from the summer of '07, between my junior and senior years in high school, when I was worrying about college and what to do with my life.  I made two lists on opposing pages that read something like this:

What I'm Supposed to Do
- clean my room
- get really good grades
- apply to college
- clean the sink dishes and the house
- laundry
- get a job and keep it
- get my drivers license

What I Want to Do
- play the piano
- be in shows
- spend time with my friends
- sing
- write often and well
- sleep
- dream and ponder
- read
- fall in love

I absolutely laughed out loud when I stumbled across this gem, for several reasons.  I guess first and foremost is that even back then, deep down, I knew what I really wanted.  Also, I realized that not much has changed; hahaha I still want the same things!  Except falling in love. I stick my tongue out at love.  :p  But I've also realized that it's possible to want those things and have them and still be successful!  Praise God.
There's another entry, also from that summer, that gave me such hope.  I was trying to brainstorm for my college application essays, and I was jotting down notes under the heading, "What do I want the admissions people to know about me?" One sentence in particular stuck out to me there:  "If I am passionate about something, there is no stopping me," I wrote. Here's hoping I was right!!!  I know that I seriously can't wait for school to start again so I can start studying music!!! Gah, it's just so exciting!! :D  I should probably make myself a poster with that sentence on it for encouragement.
Speaking of encouragement, there's another phrase that I've been meaning to post somewhere in my living area/bedroom/office, something my mom told me once.  She was driving me back from the trolley station, one of many such little trips during the course of my year as a commuter, and I was telling her about school and a test I had done well on or something.  She was very pleased at my progress, of course, and I will never forget what she said next: "I'm tellin' you, Jane; you could set the world on fire."  ... I seriously can't even think of words to explain how much this means to me, so I'm just gonna leave it at that.
And now, to close, I thought I would share a few choice tidbits from various journal entries in celebration of my re-reading.  Enjoy.

Monday, August 7, 2006
I really really really want to draw on myself right now, so I'm writing on paper instead to counter the urge.

March 28, 2007
Tonight was opening night of the show Thoroughly Modern Millie at BPHS.  In some ways I feel like this is the first night of the rest of my life, but a new journal always makes me feel like that.

Monday, August 20, 2007
24 hours ago I was going batty in the car and now I'm the world's most befuddled Bethette.  All day I have had the feeling that I'm having a very strange dream where I'm a Bethette, not a piccolo player.  But it's real.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
It's around 3pm here in China, and 3am back in Bethel Park.  All I want to do right now is sleep.
I've been on a plane since 10am Bethel time, and we just boarded our second plane from Hong Kong to Beijing.  My butt hurts and my knees are sore.
Also I'm starving!  If I'm going to be awake at 3am, the least these people can do is feed me.
Hahaha I am so cranky!  This will change soon, I hope, as our trip becomes more about sightseeing and singing and less about traveling for hours and jet lag.

Monday, June 1, 2009
Today is an ass-wipe of a day.

Sunday, September 27, 2009
I just got back from choir camp and I'm waiting in the quad for Dad to pick me up. ...  I am so cold.  Really.  I think my toes are going to turn black and fall off.  And here comes Dad.  Sorry.  Too late.  I am already toe-less...

Friday, January 1, 2010
Alright, it's only been a few hours since I wrote the last entry, but I couldn't wait to write the new date.  It always gives me such hope for some reason.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Lord, I know that I do not need to see further than one step in front of me to keep going.  But what is that step?

And with that, I'm signing off.  Good night, folks!