Thursday, August 26, 2010

New Chapter

I know the name of this post is super cheesy, but I couldn't think of anything else to call this collection of musings about my current state.  I've just moved into my new house, for good this time, and connected to the internet successfully, and I feel quite contemplative.
I woke up this morning really missing Africa.  The goodbye is just feeling so real today.  I am quick to adapt but slow to truly change.  This was apparent in the way I quickly embraced African culture and lifestyle, but right at the end of the month I began to struggle because I needed to adjust on a deeper level to be comfortable again.  So it is now; I was quick to adapt to my previous lifestyle once back in the States, but it's taken a little longer for the change to really sink in.  It's really starting to hit me that I am probably not going back to Ghana for a really long time.  And I miss it.  I miss it so friggin much.
I am so super glad to be living in this house, though.  My loan was finally dispersed today, so I can pay my rent.  Phew!  My boxes are still piled up in the closet and in the living room, but I don't care.  I know that eventually my organizational self will create some kind of order to it all.  And I feel that I have time to do that for once.  For some reason, all my other moves felt rushed... which doesn't make any sense because I definitely had time after both of them to make sure things got to their places.  Maybe because I moved my furniture in last week and I just have to put stuff in/on it now.  Either way.  I feel good about this.
And while we're on the subject of things I feel good about, allow me to say that I am pee-in-my-pants excited to start classes!  I'm going to be a music major!  Me!  Who saw that coming??  Oh, I'm so happy.  I've never been this excited for school to start in my whole life, I think.  I'm going to like what I'm studying.  Absolutely unheard of!  Oh God, I cannot think of it too much, or I'll never get to sleep.  I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve.  And my presents?  Music!  Choir rehearsals!  Voice lessons!  Oh, it is too much to bear!  To much goodness and happiness!  Thank God for that, or I would be booking my depressed little self a flight back to Africa by now.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Africa: My Return

Well, I've been back at home for a little over a week now.  I've been trying to think of something meaningful to say about returning to the US of A, but nothing has come to mind.  I loved my time in Ghana and I'm sure it's changed me in many ways.  I just haven't seen the effects of those changes yet.
Here are the things that I miss the most about Ghana:
- the drums and the dancing at Mass
- the good hearts of the people of Dafor
- Fada's homilies
- the music playing almost constantly
- the children flocking around
- the beauty of the landscape
- the animals, esp. the cute baby ones
- carrying stuff on my head
- the outdoor showers
- the foam mattresses
- not being self-conscious about the way I look (or smell hahaha)
- laughing through meals with the mission team
- the mission team in general

And now, before I get too depressed about being back in the States, here are a few things that I really missed about this place:
- my makeup, clothes, and shoes, esp. the heels
- the food, esp. the variety and quantity of food
- my family, talking to my sisters about everything
- singing as much as I want to
- personal independence in general
- air conditioning
- good hospitals

I hope I get to go back.  I don't know when or how, but I know that I want to go back.  Ghana felt like home to me, and I don't think I'll ever be perfectly happy in the US or Ghana ever again, now that pieces of my heart are in both places.