Bathroom = Cruel Trap

The doorknob in our downstairs bathroom is broken, and as such, when I went to the bathroom this afternoon, I got trapped in it. This was particularly unfortunate because I was just making a quick stop home to grab my music and some food before heading to an audition at 5.  I think it was the moment when my toilet-lid-battering-ram escape tactic failed that I knew I would probably not make it to the audition.  At that point I had tried using tweezers as a wrench to turn the remaining stub of a doorknob, unscrewing the plate from the doorknob using the tweezers as a screwdriver, and I may or may not have tried to burn a hole in the door using the candle on the toilet, matches, and some rolled-up toilet paper.  Of course, I had the wastebasket full of water close by to extinguish the flames once I got out.  I shouldn't have bothered; the door didn't light.  Finally I gave up and just curled up for a nap on some rolled up towels like a little dog until my housemate got home and let me out.  I was in there for about two hours.  I had left my phone in the dining room.  I didn't think I would need it.

I find this scenario to be especially hilarious because, as some of you know, I also got trapped in a room during my trip to Africa this past summer.  I was sick and the rest of the group went to Mass, locking me up inside of our room without realizing that I couldn't unlock it from the inside.  The nausea passed after about 30 minutes, but I was stuck in there for about three hours.  Except I managed to escape from that one after much lock-picking with a bobby pin, checking the windows for ways out, and pacing around the room.  I finally realized that if I undid the bolts securing the second door to the door frame, I could swing the double doors open.  So I did, much to the surprise of an unsuspecting village woman getting water from a nearby rain well.  The language barrier made explaining difficult, so I only pantomimed a bit before high-tailing it to the latrines.

Now this whole situation is making me a bit nervous, because since this has happened twice I feel that it's bound to happen a third time.  You know, the rule of threes and all.  So... I will be keeping my cell phone with me at all times from now on.  Even in the bathroom.  Especially in the bathroom.

Oh, and I did miss the audition.  By the time I got out it was almost 5:30.  I sent the casting director an email saying that I was so sorry, but "something unexpected and unavoidable came up and I didn't have my phone with me."  Well, it's the truth.  There's no need to share with the world that I locked myself in a bathroom.  Oh wait.  I just did.