Learning Not to Be Strong

Recently I stumbled across the work of this beautiful artist, Yiruma. He's a pianist and a composer, and his work is phenomenal. It makes me feel.
He creates this airy, floating piano music. Listening to it is like basking in morning sunlight or sipping fresh milk or sinking into an immense feather bed.
Sometimes, when I hear this music, I feel immensely happy, like a princess chasse-ing across a ballroom. A smile lights up my face and I feel at peace and filled with joy in the Lord.
More often, though, the music makes me sad. More than once has it moved me to tears, real tears of loneliness or despair.

This has been a recurring issue for me: tears... vulnerability.
There are very few times when I feel comfortable crying. If something makes me feel sad, I don't let myself cry, especially not in public. I want to be strong. Even at funerals. Even when everyone around me is crying, too. Even when my heart is broken.
Things have changed, though, since I've drawn closer to the Lord. "Cry," He says to me. "Your tears are beautiful. They show that I matter to you, that My work matters to you. They show your weakness and your vulnerability and your beauty. They show that you need Me, My little one."
This world is a sorrowful place. There are many things to weigh us down and many things to pull us away from the Lord, Who is our source of strength and happiness. We live in a "valley of tears."

So, when I hear this music and feel sad hearing it, then I know: something is amiss in my life. There is some trial that I am not dealing with well, though everything may seem fine on the surface. So I let the tears come. And I bring them to the Lord. And I tell Him everything. And He smiles at me and brings joy back into my heart with His love and His graces. And soon I am smiling again as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

So you see, in avoiding the tears and the feelings we rely on our own strength to deal with the situation at hand. The key is learning NOT be strong so that we may share those tender moments with our Lord, Who wishes for nothing more than to be there with us through all our sufferings and failings. He loves us so very much. Cry, and let Him love you.